Written on 06/01/2009
Holy cow. It’s June! Summer is here in my mind. My baby girl is here NEXT MONTH!!! I can’t even stand how excited I am. My baby shower is on the 6th and after that it will be all about getting ready to have a new precious baby girl in our lives! I went to target yesterday and had a really hard time not wanting to buy all these new adorable mini baby things! Depending on the success of my shower, I’ll need a few tiny summer clothes for little Isla. Cohen’s are one step too big since she was born in April, most of her summer clothes are 3-6 month, which we all know a newborn definitely needs newborn size! It’s amazing how tiny they are! You buy something you think is small and when you put it on the baby it looks like she’s drowning! As incredibly hard it will be to buy a few new baby clothes *smile* it will be good to have some fresh items at the same time. I also plan to have a garage sale one of these days to sell some of Co’s old clothes to help go towards some newer items for Isla.
* For anyone confused, her name is pronounced Eye-la*
With every day that goes by I can’t help but think back to when Vin and I found out we were expecting Cohen. We were scared, excited, worried and everything else you feel when you weren’t *trying* for a baby. I remember when we first laid our eyes on her. The moment that stands out the most in my mind is when the nurse told me it was time to push the baby out! Vin was holing my hand and he looked at me and we both lost it! He was an amazing coach. He really served me and showed me so much support while I was in the hospital. It was one of the most special moments in our lives! I know Isla will fill our home and our family with so much love. I love my family so much and I can’t wait to spend the rest of our lives together! We are so blessed. I know God has so much love and joy for us.
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Written on 05/31/2009
Summer is here early! I couldn’t be happier. I woke up a little earlier this morning and opened the house up to get it all cooled off. I decided to make my coffee and take advantage of this beautiful time for myself. Morning is such a special time. I love starting a new day.
I managed to paint my toe nails, which I was certain I wouldn’t be able to accomplish until after the baby was out. I couldn’t stand looking at my half painted/chipped nails!
Yesterday we spent some time at Bridgeport. It was so nice to be out of the house and in the beautiful weather. Co had her first HUGE round lollipop and I was kicking myself for not having a camera around! ( I need to get myself a sweet camera that I can actually carry :-) It was a pink and white swirled lollipop almost the size of her head. She would walk around and show it to everyone that she saw. After that we went to Whole foods and my Mom pushed Co around in this massive cart with a little car connected to the front. She just laid back, ate her sucker and told anyone in her way to watch out. It was priceless! She’s absolutely hilarious!
I snapped a few pictures before we left. I know her Dad loves it when her hair is all cute so I couldn’t pass up these pictures of her with her half ponytail.
My freshly painted toenails. Don’t mind the flip flop marks and the cuticle oil. No one is perfect!
Schmeentzy enjoying the sun and my company.
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Written on 05/30/2009
Here I am in all my belly glory. 8 months pregnant! Wow… craziness!
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Written on 05/30/2009
Anxiety is a strange thing. Everyone experiences it but for some reason there are people who actually suffer from it. Like myself. I don’t know whether it was passed on from generation to generation, whether it was developed after countless painful and stressful events in my life or if it’s even something that will disappear one day. I don’t exactly know how to deal with it. I’ve experienced it since I was younger, around 15/16 but could still function pretty normal. Nowadays I feel like I wear it on my sleeve at every moment. Or like it’s a hat that shadows my face at all times. I have good days and bad days. Sometimes it’s so overwhelming I feel as if I will have an emotional melt down. Some days I do have an emotional melt down. I’ve spent many nights struggling to fight back tears of stress and fear, yet I can’t control why and when they decide to take over my heart, mind and soul.
I’ve sat at church before when the pastor asks if anyone needs healing. Do I need healing? That sounds a bit silly but, is this a disease that I can not control by breathing or exercise? I can’t figure out the best way to relieve it. I have prayed for healing in myself many many times. I have begged God to take my anxiety away and allow me to live freely in my heart. I have prayed that God would take me out of the position of wanting to control what happens to me emotionally. I have prayed for God to take my fears of all kinds and destroy them, for I know I am not in control of what may happen to me or my family. I get classically angry with God sometimes because He hasn’t healed me. But, I know He will when I allow Him to. Where do you find the strength and ability to let go and trust?
I imagine in my mind how freeing it would be to wake up each day with joy and a mind free from worry. I imagine myself handing my worry to God and never thinking about it again. It seems to simple and so easy when in fact, worry and fear is like a drug. For some reason I trick myself into thinking it’s better to worry and try to control my surroundings. In my mind I’m preparing for the worst so it wont kill me when it comes.
I wasn’t intending for this blog to become a sob story for me! It’s more just a way to sort out my mind. I’ve been battling some fears in my heart the past few days and I am exhausted by it. I woke up to birds singing and I felt a bit envious of their freedom,
I know one day I will be renewed and free! God help me.
Kesha.
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Written on 05/29/2009
We took Vin to the airport this morning for his long trip tp Canada. He’s in his friend’s wedding this weekend and will be leading worship for the wedding. I love that my husband is so blessed and gifted to have the voice and ability to play guitar that he has! I find it irresistable!
Co got dolled up this morning and played a little guitar with her Dad. She adores him!
It’s been a HOT day and we’ve managed to get through it with lots of homemade Popsicles and the little kiddie pool. I am VERY thankful it’s almost night and I can begin to cool down and relax when Co goes to bed.
Missing my love tonight!
Kesh.
Loving her Daddy! Soon he’ll have two gorgeous daughters to kiss!
Being her beautiful self ;-)
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Written on 05/28/2009
Today has been amazingly beautiful day. This weekend is supposed to be very warm and I am excited and sad at the same time. Vin wont be here to play with us in the pool and at the park but at least Co and I will have things to do to keep busy until he gets home on Monday night.
I just think Cohen is the cutest little girl EVER! I love her little bathing suit. She’s been playing in her pool most of the afternoon. First at Gamma’s house and now at home. Since we don’t have any AC yet it’s the best way to keep cool!
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Written on 05/27/2009
We took a fun family trip last weekend to the farm. It was nice getting to go as a family. Co always has a great time! It was pretty fun for me too as the new baby goats are roaming all over! Spring is definitely here! It must have been mom jean day too. I saw some pretty nasty “mom outfits” that I vow I will NEVER succumb to!
The little pooper! I want one!!!
My loves having fun on the swings.
Need I say more?
This hat is a whole new level of momness I never want to know.
My pathetic toenails. These little piggies need to go to the salon!
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Written on 05/25/2009
One of my closest friends Jillian had her baby Sunday night. Her name is Ella Jaymes Winters and she is a whopping 6lbs 11 ounces and 17.5 inches long! What a little petite! She’s stunning! It sure makes it more exciting for my time! 7 more weeks and hopefully I will be posting a blog about our baby’s arrival!
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Written on 05/24/2009
This beauty….. I love you…..I need you and I want you! Now could you just magically cost about $200 cheaper?
My dream stroller
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Written on 05/23/2009
This is the most BEAUTIFUL thing I have EVER laid my mommy eye’s on!!!!!!!!!!!! And she’s mine all mine!!! I forgot to mention this is Cohen’s morning hair. I usually tame it before we head out and about ;-) But in the mornings I just let it be it’s wild self!
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