Vin you are the bomb.

Written on 12/24/2004

I got your awesome post card from Canada, that made my day!

God Bless and let me know when you are home so we can have coffee in person.

kesh~

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Merry Christmas

Written on 12/23/2004

Well, normally I don’t have much of a life so I have lots of time to post lots of interesting probably boring posts but since its been Christmas and all I actually have things to do. I hope you all have a blessed Christmas and I’ll be back after then Holiday. God Bless everyone and I hope the Lords spirit fills your hearts and homes.

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What a dang cute song :-)

Written on 12/21/2004

You with the sad eyes, don’t be discouraged though I realize its hard to take courage, in a world full of people you can lose sight of it all and the darkness there inside you makes you feel so small… But I see your true colors shining through, see your true colors, that’s why I love you. So don’t be afraid to let them show, your true colors, true colors are beautiful like a rainbow.

Ok now I really am leaving hehe. Had to finish up a few things.

This song I am listening to is sang by Eva Cassidy although I know she isn’t the original singer its a pretty version.

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Written on 12/21/2004

A face that brings me comfort Posted by Hello

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Written on 12/21/2004

The amazing Joy I have in my family… Posted by Hello

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Written on 12/21/2004

“A mind full of thoughts, desires, hurts and dreams is a mind that is alive” Posted by Hello

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Time to learn to surrender…

Written on 12/21/2004



I wonder if choosing between something that makes you miserable but makes sense over something that makes you happy but doesn’t make sense is reasonable. I personally don’t think I am brave enough to choose something that makes me happy because I am afraid that it might not measure up to what I ought to do or what I had planned on doing for as long as I can remember. I feel like I am getting closer to being comfortable with giving up what I dream and letting the author of my life and faith begin his plan for me. I think when God says

“In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps” Proversb16:9

He means just that. I am glad he means that because I desperately need him in the planning of my pitiful life. It’s like such a reality to me right now. I NEVER would have confessed or even thought I was someone who had their whole life planned, what I will do, who I will love, what I will love where I will be etc… Sheesh, I am nothing. I am a hypocrite.

Lord, why can’t my prayer be to be a vessel and follow where you lead? Why do I have so much pride in my heart and what good do I think it will do for me? Why is it so hard to release the grip of the world and set myself free running into your arms? Each day is a disappointment to me, another day not good enough because I cannot rest in you. Guilty am I who feeds on my own self pride. I know that your plans will overcome my pride. Ultimately Lord I know your will, will be done. And I can rest in that hope.

I am off to see a Christmas show of lights in Portland! God Bless and goodnight-


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Yesterday, a day of joy and sorrow.

Written on 12/19/2004

I had been thinking earlier and something sort of brought my attention back to it. It’s the simplicity in life that I have been finding in a lot of things. Not saying I take advantage of those wonderful simple things as I should, it’s that I truly desire them and fail to take advantage of them. Our hearts are quite the treasure box. I realize when I find myself wanting what someone else has, or wishing things were different God whispers in my ear to look inside my heart because he has put something there that he wants me to see. So I do and each time I find Gods love just hanging out. It’s great.

I found joy today while driving down the street. I stopped at a stop sign and saw a family in an SUV that seemed so happy. I saw people buying Christmas trees tying them to their cars, a couple inside a car lot probably buying a new car. I saw sunshine and busyness, happiness and most of all I saw everyone around me living life and it made me feel good.

My heart was shocked by something from the past yesterday. I am curious to know if certain wounds ever heal. I know God can heal them but you have to give them to him first, and I don’t know how to completely surrender it to him. Maybe in time. It seems as though enough has passed. I wonder if we all suffer through something like desperation in our lives because I am pretty sure I have been in the depths of despair and them some, but moment by moment God kept my spirit alive with his love and mercy. Looking back I am beginning to see a glimpse of what state my heart was in, and it seemed a little like this…

“What I feared has come upon me; what I dreaded has happened to me.

I have no rest, but only turmoil” Job 3:28

Even though my body was not wounded my heart was dead and my joy was gone, and that was as good as being dead. It has taken a long time to see light from the dark I was in. I had a tear stained pillow that I lay my head on each night. I worried my family with my loss of joy and interest in anything other than sleeping. I’d sleep and sleep because I didn’t know my heart was broken when my mind was dreaming of other things. The seasons I loved passed by without me. It changed who I am. But I will not fail to mention that Gods Glory came upon me and I can see my life as a gift again. I know I grew stronger from an experience like that, and I am still growing stronger each day.

Well I probably shouldn’t have reflected so deeply on the past. I don’t feel that I live in the past, but I do need to reflect from time to time so I can see where God has brought me. I am blessed and my goal to be content seems closer. Well I am off to work now. God Bless. I don’t know if anyone reads my entries I think they only look at my pictures. Oh well whatever floats your boats.

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Written on 12/19/2004

Dad, Quinn, Kesha, Grandma#2. Oh and can’t forget one of my Dads 9 cats, can’t remember its name, wonder why :-) Posted by Hello

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Written on 12/19/2004

This is a really cool picture taken of some boats and Alcatraz in the background. Posted by Hello

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