Written on 12/18/2004
Here’s one of the shirts I got Quinn he’ll look great in it. 
Written on 12/18/2004
I have the hippest coolest Grandma and Grandpa around. Had to show them off as well as my brother. 
Written on 12/18/2004
:-)
Today I went to the mall with my mom. She let me pick out a few Christmas gifts. I think this will be one of the only times I ever say this so if it means anything to anyone print it out for your records because today I HATED shopping. Yes, you read it right. Hated. Such a strong word but I don’t think I have ever been so stressed out by people in my life. Made me want to go home to my little Podunk West Salem to my little farm house and lay down in my little messy room and wrap up in my dumb orange blanket and be in quiet. The only thing good about getting stressed out by being in the mall was that it made me lose my appetite which probably isn’t the worst thing for me considering that pound I gained this last week. Cool stuff. Not.
Written on 12/18/2004
I just want to add that I love my brother. Here he is! I helped my mom pick out some pretty stylin’ shirts for him today, I think its great to pick out clothes for a guy. Even better when a guy lets you dress him…. I think I might be able to find the shirts I got him online, I will post them. 
The Prov-sters…
Written on 12/18/2004
Proverb up-lifts I like to call these select few verses.
Proverbs 14:30
A heart at peace gives life to the body,
But envy rots the bones.
Proverbs 15:13
A happy heart makes the face cheerful,
But heartache crushes the spirit.
Proverbs 15:23
A man finds joy in giving an apt reply,
And how good is a timely word.
Proverbs 15:30
A cheerful look brings joy to the heart,
And good news gives health to the bones.
Proverbs are like the perfect thing for me. I can read them and they fulfill just what I need in my heart. Plus they are rather simple, which is good for a person like me. God knows what’s best for my little brain.
Proverbs 16:9
I was just thinking about this verse.
“In his heart a man plans his course but the Lord determines his steps”
Once again, it’s like a pattern what God has been showing me. I believe he will change our hearts in the direction he wants them to go. If for some reason we are turned off by something but it’s what God wants for us, I think he will take the liberty and re-direct our hearts. I could see how someone might think that is like totally God controlling us, contradicting to the fact that we have free choice. That is the beauty of it. We do have free choice, but it even says those who live in the spirit choose the spirit (Romans 8:5 “but those who live in accordance with the spirit have their minds set on what the spirit desires”) so pretty much when we are pursuing Gods direction in our lives we are choosing him, and he takes care of the rest. Otherwise, we would have to remember each and every thing that we want God to choose for us and, oh that makes me feel like a failure already. I would forget to ask him to choose something for me and then I would go ahead and make my own decision which would be the wrong one and the result, failure. God saves us the hassle and just makes it simple. Choose me, and I will make your path straight (Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understand. In all your ways acknowledge him and He will make your path straight”) thank you Lord, nice and simple just like I need it.
All I have to say for now…..
Written on 12/17/2004
Is ewww because I only got about 3 hours of sleep. Now… what in the heck keeps someone awake who is tired where they by toss and turn, ugh. This might whip me into shape though and make me go to bed at a decent hour tonight. We will see. I am off to make some coffee.
Oh how I wish I was a little girl again…
Written on 12/17/2004
A glimpse of who I truly am…
Imagine how easy it was to be little? The only worry I had when I was little was whether or not I got to go outside and play. I never knew you could get your heart broken or how easy it was to hurt others. My dreams were all I lived by and they all seemed to come true. Also I could play with barbies and get away with it, not like I would want to now or anything I mean gross! Oh-AND I didn’t know about coffee yet. Coffee = spending alot of money.
An answer…
Written on 12/17/2004
sorrow is an opportunity for glory
Ever thought of it that way? God showed me it’s a wonderful opportunity to see his face in the midst of seeing pain. If we lay it at his feet he won’t fail to teach us to surrender, before we know it our hearts have turned from our sorrow to our God! What a beautiful thing.
Ecclesiastes 7
Written on 12/17/2004
Ecclesiastes 7:13-14
Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what he has made crooked? 14When times are good be happy but when times are bad consider that God has made the one as well as the other.
Therefore man cannot discover anything about his future,
13: To truly consider what God has done is actually pretty difficult for our minds. We are so consumed in selfishness that to consider all of the things that God has done would bring us all on our knees. Solomon is asking us to consider; to think about what God has done.
“Who can straighten what he has made crooked?”
All I can think of is, Thank you Lord for making your ways unfixable, for I know your ways are the only way. This verse brought me comfort that no one can change what our God has done. Can you imagine if you were capable of changing the things that God has done for us? It’s a disastrous thought. Even in the hardest times in our lives, if we could go back and change them, make it so that they never happened we would be missing the glory that God himself brought us through them. Glory, we all want glory and I feel like the only way to receive it is through our times of pain and strife. What would we do with out Gods hope of Glory? We would have nothing to look forward to, nothing to have hope for. God is our hope, we wouldn’t be blessed with hope or glory if we could change how our lives have been, we would be filled with regret and pain and a never ending sense of “no closure” to the all the open doors. We would never see God because we would be changing each opportunity that he had to come into our lives.
I was getting into my car last night, after I had been in getting coffee and a thick fog had fallen all over Salem. I stood there my hot coffee awkwardly in my hand because it was hot and I forgot to grab a sleeve for it, my laptop bag heavy on my shoulder, my purse hanging on for dear life by my pinky finger and my hair sort of falling out of my clip and my nose was starting to run because of the cold air. In the midst of my chaos I stopped, closed my eyes opened them again, took a deep breath of cold foggy air and exhaled slowly. I looked long and hard through the fog. I felt the Lord tell me it was him being that fog, grabbing my attention away from the stress I had been feeling. He was telling my heart to be still, and to know he was God. It was so quiet like it had snowed. Not a soul was around me. It was truly a euphoric moment. So simple yet it was a blessing.
14: Praise God for this verse. I doubt there is one human in this whole world that wouldn’t be totally blessed by this verse. Its like it hits you in the face. We are not taught to be happy when times are bad, it is going against the flow of this world. We get angry and seek revenge, or we lose hope and give up, and most importantly we blame our God. We curse our loving God. Reject him. It’s as plain as it can be and its proof that we are selfish humans only wanting what is good, never thinking we possibly deserve something bad happening in our lives. He will get us through the hard times, he created all times to be an opportunity to bring praise and thanks to Him, therefore let us learn to see it that way. Praise God for all circumstances. Trust in him, and thank him and know his ways are Right.
The last part of this verse says something simple to me, that God doesn’t want us to know the future. Can’t argue with that. He made us and he wants to have our future be a beautiful surprise. He is the boss.
